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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367323">When Forever Fades Into A Memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistoney/pseuds/alistoney'>alistoney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Universe, Fluff, Immortality Angst, Magic, Magnus’ past, magical lore, mortal Alec</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:42:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistoney/pseuds/alistoney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I was quite reckless when I was young, Alexander.” </p><p>Alec’s eyebrows climb higher and he laughs.</p><p>“More than you are now?” </p><p>Magnus leans in as if he’s telling a secret.</p><p>“You have no idea.” </p><p>“I want to,” Alec whispers, “tell me.” </p><p>Or Magnus and Alec have an unplanned visitor and Alec learns a little bit more about magic and Magnus’ past.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>When Forever Fades Into A Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I absolute loved writing this fic. It took me so long to actually get out because I loved the idea so much I really wanted to get it right. </p><p>I hope you enjoy!</p><p>Title from This Promise by Sam Tsui and Casey Breves</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“For you, my dear.” </p><p>Alec smiles and accepts the glass of wine Magnus offers him over the back of the couch. </p><p>Magnus circles the couch, placing the bottle on the glass coffee table before dropping onto the couch next to him. Alec tucks his legs up under his body and turns towards him. </p><p>“How were Izzy and Jace?” Magnus asks, taking a sip of wine.</p><p>Alec grins and relaxes further into the back of the couch.</p><p>“The same as usual,” he replies, “still always running around finding new ways to piss off the Clave. They gave me some ideas, actually.” </p><p>A slow smile spreads across Magnus’ face and he takes another sip of his drink, hiding it behind the rim. </p><p>“I’d expect nothing less.” </p><p>Magnus’ eyes have darkened much like they usually do when Alec talks about pissing off the Clave.</p><p>Alec fights back a laugh and leans just a bit forwards.</p><p>“Your meeting went similarly, I assume,” he asks. </p><p>Alec had asked the New York Downworld council to talk with their people and come up with ways the Downworld would be willing to work with the Shadowhunters of his Institute and vice versa. Naturally the Clave has not been too fond of the idea, but that isn’t about to stop Alec. Not anymore. </p><p>Magnus had held a meeting to discuss it with the warlocks earlier today.</p><p>“It wasn’t as bad as I thought,” Magnus answers, following Alec’s lead and leaning forwards, “some of us have grown quite fond of the New York Shadowhunters over the years.” </p><p>There’s not much space between them now, Alec’s thigh is pressed to Magnus’ knee and their faces are close enough that Alec wouldn’t have to move much at all to kiss him. </p><p>He smiles and looks up at Magnus through his eyelashes instead. </p><p>“Is that so?” </p><p>Heat unfurls in Alec’s chest when Magnus’ gaze drops to his lips and stays there.</p><p>“We’ve always liked the rebellious type, us Warlocks,” Magnus murmurs, his breath ghosting over Alec’s cheek. </p><p>Alec sets his glass down on the coffee table, he can’t remember if he’d even taken a sip, but it seems unimportant now. He plucks Magnus’ glass out of his hand as well, and sets it down next to his. </p><p>“Alexander—“ Magnus starts, the beginnings of a smirk making its way to his lips, but Alec cuts him off by pushing him back onto the couch. </p><p>Alec leans over him and laughs when he sees Magnus looking delightedly back up at him. </p><p>“Someone’s being very forward today,” he says teasingly. </p><p>Alec rolls his eyes in response and leans down for the kiss they’ve both been building up to since they’d gotten home. </p><p>They’d known this was where they were going to end up. Their flirting poorly disguised as business was no subtle cover up. Alec had decided he’d wanted Magnus under him from the moment he’d gotten home, still wearing the suit and purple tie from his meeting. </p><p>“I’m just expressing my thanks for your support, Mr. Bane,” Alec says when he pulls away, voice dropping lower and grinning when Magnus’ breath hitches. </p><p>He skims a single finger over Magnus’ jaw and then down his neck to brush against his silk tie, watching the glamor over his eyes flicker for a second. </p><p>Magnus tilts his chin up for another kiss but Alec remains hovering, even as Magnus pouts up at him. </p><p>“Tease.” </p><p>“Mmm,” Alec hums, ducking down and pressing a kiss behind Magnus’ ear, “that won’t do,” he whispers into the skin. </p><p>Magnus doesn’t reply, instead he brings a hand up to curl into Alec’s hair and tilts his head for better access.</p><p>Alec kisses his neck softly in thanks and then bites down without warning. </p><p>Magnus makes a noise that lights a fire in Alec’s chest as he soothes the skin with his tongue.</p><p>“Alexander—“ Magnus starts on a gasp.</p><p>The doorbell chimes and Alec’s lips drag on warm skin for a long second before he reluctantly raises his head from Magnus’ neck. </p><p>“Are you expecting someone?” </p><p>Magnus blinks a few times before he registers the question.</p><p>“No,” he answers, looking towards the door in annoyance, “but I swear if it’s Jace I won’t hesitate to portal him to Alaska.” </p><p>Alec laughs and then reluctantly climbs off Magnus and follows him down the hall. He watches him press a hand bathed in blue magic to the door, muttering something to himself. </p><p>He’s been more careful since Lilith had walked straight into his home. He’s tweaked his wards and always checks for a magic signature before opening the door for unplanned guests. </p><p>Alec watches Magnus’ lips turn up into a surprised smile and then he’s throwing open the doors without preamble. </p><p>“Maggie!” </p><p>A woman stands in the doorway with a smile.  She’s pale with blonde hair tied back in a long braid and she looks young, about Alec’s age. Though Alec can never be sure with the immortals that show up at Magnus’ doorstep.</p><p>“Bane,” Maggie says with a smirk, letting Magnus scoop her up into his arms.</p><p>Magnus stops in the middle of spinning her and pulls away enough to look at Maggie’s face, brows furrowed.</p><p>“Your magic,” he says, “its weak.” </p><p>Maggie sighs and nods, “it’s been that way for a week. I think I’m ill.” </p><p>“Not that god forsaken illness again. It’s a pain in my ass.”</p><p>Maggie laughs and the two of them share a look that tells Alec that they’re thinking about the same thing. Something that happened a long time ago, Alec assumes by the wistful smile that’s made its way onto Magnus’ face.</p><p>Magnus turns to let Maggie into the loft and startles when he sees Alec standing in the doorway. </p><p>Alec wonders if he should have stayed inside or gone to their bedroom and waited. Despite Alec’s attempts at changing things, it's a slow going process and there are still many Downworlders who aren’t very fond of Shadowhunters. </p><p>He’s about to tell Magnus he can make himself scarce but Magnus starts speaking before he can. </p><p>“Oh!” he says, “Maggie, this is my boyfriend, Alec. Alexander, Maggie, an old friend of mine.” </p><p>Maggie doesn’t really acknowledge Alec other than smiling and then taking the arm Magnus offers her and letting him walk her to the couch. </p><p>“Make yourself at home dear,” Magnus says, conjuring up bowls of fruit and snacks onto the coffee table and a blanket to the couch. </p><p>Alec watches her take a seat and Magnus wrap the blanket over her. She looks more worn and tired than when she’d been laughing with Magnus now that she’s seated on the couch. </p><p>“Are you sure you won’t need help with the spell?” Alec hears Maggie ask in between Magnus fluttering around her making sure she’s comfortable. </p><p>“Nonsense,” Magnus says, looking over his shoulder and winking at Alec, “I’ve got a perfectly healthy assistant right here.” </p><p>Alec follows Magnus into the apothecary where he sets out a bowl and a few jars distractedly.</p><p>“Is she going to be okay?” Alec asks, glancing over his shoulder to watch Maggie lie back on the couch.</p><p>“She’ll be fine. She’s just got a common warlock sickness. Sort of like a cold. The sickness makes it so that we get depleted of magic very quickly and are unable to treat ourselves,” Alec side steps out of the way as Magnus retrieves a book from his shelf and flips open to what looks to be a spell. He grins brightly up at Alec upon finding it, “good thing I know exactly how to get her feeling better in no time.”</p><p>Alec leans over the table to read the page upside down. </p><p>“Power of Three Healing?” He asks, quirking an eyebrow.</p><p>Magnus just nods and drops something into the bowl. </p><p>“Could you pass me the mint?”</p><p>Alec grabs the jar of mint from Magnus’ shelf of herbs and hands it over to expecting hands.</p><p>Magnus smiles in thanks and then taps a finger against the title of the spell.</p><p>“The Power of Three Healing spell is a very old healing spell and, in my experience, one of the best methods of curing the warlock cold.” </p><p>His voice has dropped to that rougher tone it always does when he explains magic to Alec. It’s fascinating, the amount of love he has for it. The less glamorous, more scientific side to magic seems to light a fire in Magnus no less great than the big showy bursts of magic used for battle.</p><p>He used to be hesitant to talk to Alec about this back when they’d first started out. Scared, Alec assumed, that he’d get bored or that Alec would find it too much and run from it. </p><p>And at first it <em> had </em> been a lot. A lot of it went straight over Alec’s head and he’d leave the conversations more confused than he’d started. </p><p>But Alec is nothing if not determined and a fast learner. </p><p>He leans his elbows onto the table and drops his head into his hand as Magnus keeps speaking.</p><p>“The spell harnesses the Law of Three. In magic it is said that whatever energy one sends out into the word will return to them threefold. Us warlocks have figured out a way to harness that energy and use it for healing.”</p><p>Magnus angles the spoon towards Alec and moves to his shelf of ingredients, leaving Alec to mix the concoction.</p><p>When Alec looks down into the bowl it looks pretty ordinary, there’s no weird bubbling or bursts of magic like with some other spells Magnus does. There’s just the faint scent of mint in the air and the slightly burnt sugar smell that always accompanies Magnus’ magic. </p><p>Magnus spins back to face Alec and his smile is fond when he sees Alec mixing his spell. Alec smiles back. </p><p>This is something Alec doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to appreciate enough. The way Magnus openly exhibits his trust by letting Alec touch his work. The way he tells him how it works. </p><p>“You can let that sit for a bit darling,” Magnus says, “I’m missing an ingredient, but I’m sure Cat has some lying around. You’ll keep Maggie company?”</p><p>Alec nods, smiling wider when Magnus drops a kiss to his temple and then steps around him and through a portal. </p><p>Alec removes the spoon from the bowl and then ventures back out into the living room to find Maggie. </p><p>He finds her lying on the couch with Chairman curled on her stomach. </p><p>Alec walks over and hovers for a second, again unsure. He never knows how Magnus’ Downworld friends feel about him. About a Shadowhunter taking up residence with arguably one of their best. </p><p>But Maggie just turns her head and raises an eyebrow at him. </p><p>“I don’t bite, you know.” </p><p>She sits up and pats the spot next to her. Chairman jumps gingerly off the couch and stalks off to who knows where, and Alec stands for a second debating whether he should sit or not.</p><p>He decides to sit down next to her and tenses when she just looks at him without speaking for a long moment. </p><p>“So you’re the Shadowhunter Magnus is enraptured with,” she says finally. Alec can’t tell whether she approves of the statement or not.</p><p>“Um—“ </p><p>“I’ve known Magnus for centuries,” she goes on, “did you know that?” </p><p>“No,” Alec replies, looking at her sideways, “but I’m not surprised. When Magnus says old friend, he usually really does mean old friend.” </p><p>Maggie smiles and hums. She looks slightly surprised that Alec’s made a joke. </p><p>Alec smiles back at her. </p><p>“How’d you meet him?” he asks.</p><p>Maggie’s eyes light up, “he walked into a pub I was playing at. I noticed him immediately. It was hard <em> not </em>to notice him. He dropped an inordinate amount of money into my fiddle case and I went to go say thank you.” </p><p>Her expression has gone wistful and Alec wonders what they’d been to each other. </p><p>“We stayed out until dawn that day. He matched my sense of adventure so seamlessly and I remember wanting to keep him forever.”</p><p>Alec’s fingers clench and his chest aches. He knows that feeling well. Of wanting to keep Magnus forever. Even if their forevers are so different.</p><p>Maggie smiles at him sadly, as if she knows what he’s thinking. Maybe she does. Maybe she’s also one in the long list of people who have loved Magnus Bane.</p><p>“We lived together in Galway for almost two decades. Magnus was a piece of work. Always got into the worst kind of trouble,” she laughs to herself, “though I wasn’t much better,” she shakes her head and turns her attention back to Alec, “He was the closest I ever got to having a husband.” </p><p> “You loved him,” Alec says without quite meaning to.</p><p>“Dear, I <em> still </em> love him. Always will, but not in the way you think. We were never in love, not really. Not the way where he gives his heart away.” </p><p>Alec sucks in a sharp breath. Thinks about the way Magnus looks at him, like he’s the most important thing in the world. </p><p>Maggie nods. </p><p>“Magnus, he loves differently than most immortals. He’ll give his whole heart away, even if it’s been broken before. He has a lot more hope than the rest of us. It’s both beautiful and terribly tragic.” </p><p>Alec knows this. Knows that Magnus’ heart has always been on his sleeve. How deeply he cares about people. How his heart bleeds for the people he can’t save. </p><p>But he’s never thought about the true tragedy of it. Of how many times he’s probably been burned and yet keeps loving. </p><p>“He’s given his heart to you,” Maggie says quietly, “I don’t know why. But he has, hasn’t he?” </p><p>Alec doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to. </p><p>“Take care of him,” Maggie says. </p><p>Alec doesn’t get to answer because a portal bursts into life in the middle of the room and Magnus steps out. </p><p>If he notices the intensity in the room, he doesn’t say anything about it. </p><p>He just sets a bottle of oil on the coffee table and smiles at them. </p><p>“What have you two been up to?”</p><p>“Talking about you,” Alec answers truthfully, mind steel reeling.</p><p>A small smile slides onto Magnus’ face. </p><p>“Only good things, I hope.” </p><p>Maggie laughs and flicks her gaze to Alec for a second before speaking. </p><p>“Of course not.” </p><p>Magnus’ smile turns delighted and he laughs brightly. </p><p>“I expected nothing less.”</p><p>Alec wonders for a fleeting moment what would’ve happened if they <em> had </em>fallen in love. </p><p>Would they still love each other, even now?</p><p>***</p><p>Alec has always loved watching Magnus do magic. </p><p>It’s when he’s most in his element, steady and confident. </p><p>That carefree facade he always likes to hide behind falls away when he performs spells. It’s just Magnus and his magic and it never fails to make Alec smile.</p><p>He watches Magnus set up three candles on the kitchen table and pour the contents of the bowl into the center. </p><p>Maggie seems familiar with the spell because she moves to stand by the candles without Magnus prompting her. </p><p>Magnus exchanges a look with her, eyes focused. She nods and Magnus brings his hands up for the spell. </p><p>He chants something in a language Alec doesn’t recognize and then says Maggie’s name three times, touching her shoulder on the last. </p><p>There’s a single flash of light and then it’s over. </p><p>Maggie lifts her hand, palm up, and wisps of green magic appear in her palm. </p><p>She grins up at Magnus and pulls him into a tight hug. </p><p>“Thank you,” she says, voice sincere in the same way it had been when she’d spoken about meeting Magnus all those centuries ago. </p><p>“Anything for you,” Magnus smiles.</p><p>Maggie sends Alec a smile over Magnus’ shoulder and he smiles back.</p><p>He pushes away the what if’s.</p><p>***</p><p>Alec is collecting the candles from the table when Magnus returns from seeing Maggie out. </p><p>Alec turns and smiles at the look Magnus sends him. Something both tender and tired. </p><p>“Don’t worry about that,” he says, snapping his fingers. </p><p>The candles vanish from Alec’s hands and the table is clear when he looks over his shoulder. </p><p>Alec rolls his eyes.</p><p>“I could’ve done it.” </p><p>Magnus drops onto the couch, leaning into the arm and looking at Alec upside down. </p><p>“Well, I’d much rather you came here.” </p><p>Alec shakes his head fondly, walking over and sitting down next to Magnus’ sprawled form. </p><p>Magnus grins lazily and drapes his legs over Alec’s thigh. </p><p>It’s well past midnight now, their wine still sits untouched on the coffee table. They probably won’t be going to bed for anything other than sleep. </p><p>Magnus doesn’t look ready to sleep just yet though. He looks like his thoughts are far away. Possibly <em> centuries </em>away. </p><p>Alec doesn’t feel tired yet either. </p><p>“Maggie’s nice,” he says into the silence. </p><p>Magnus’ smile turns soft.</p><p>“You liked her?” </p><p>Alec takes Magnus’ hand, playing idly with his fingers.</p><p>“She told me you two got up to the worst kinds of trouble together.” </p><p>“Yeah, we really did. You know, we almost got arrested that first day we met?” </p><p>Alec raises his eyebrows.</p><p>“Arrested?” He questions teasingly. </p><p>“Arrested,” Magnus confirms, “I was quite reckless when I was young, Alexander.” </p><p>Alec’s eyebrows climb higher and he laughs. </p><p>“More than you are now?” </p><p>Magnus leans in as if he’s telling a secret.</p><p>“You have no idea.” </p><p>“I want to,” Alec whispers, “tell me.” </p><p>And so Magnus does. </p><p>He spends the next hour retelling grand stories of him and Maggie meeting royalty, getting banned from entire countries, and even spending some time with pirates. </p><p>Alec doesn’t know how much of it he’s making up, but he’s captivated all the same. </p><p>He wonders if Magnus will ever tell stories of fighting beside the Nephilim. Maybe even the story of how he crashed a wedding at the Institute. </p><p>Maggie’s words sit heavy in Alec’s head. </p><p>
  <em> He gives his heart away.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Take care of him.  </em>
</p><p>But Alec is going to hurt him when he dies.</p><p>“I’m going to hurt you,” Alec says softly.</p><p>Magnus looks up, startled.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Alec sighs and tries to ignore the way his chest aches at the thought. He twists a ring around Magnus’ finger so he doesn’t have to look up at him. </p><p>“When I’m gone,” he repeats, “it’s going to hurt you.”</p><p>Magnus’ hand disappears from Alec’s and he feels fingers under his chin, lifting it so he’s looking into Magnus’ eyes.</p><p>“Where did this come from?” he asks, eyes flicking between Alec’s. </p><p>Alec shrugs. </p><p>“I was just thinking,” he says quietly, “about Maggie. Wouldn’t it be simpler to be with someone like her? Someone you wouldn’t have to lose?” </p><p>This isn't like the realization that had come to Alec after Camille had pointed out that he was going to age and die one day. When he and Magnus had been new and it had been terrifying to think about being with someone immortal. </p><p>This was different. It was Alec being faced with the fact that <em> he </em>was going to end up hurting Magnus when he inevitably died. Be that young, in the field. Or lucky, and of old age. </p><p>Even after all this time they don’t talk about it. They ignore it, even. Maybe because it hurts too much to think about. </p><p>There’s something old and sad in Magnus’ eyes when Alec ventures a look at his face. </p><p>“Maybe,” Magnus allows.</p><p>It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. </p><p>Ringed fingers cup his cheek and Alec presses into the touch. </p><p>“But Alexander,” Magnus breathes, “love is rarely simple. Maybe there are easier options. For both of us. But I choose you. Just as you chose me that day at your wedding. That isn’t going to change, no matter how much it might hurt.”</p><p>“I love you,” Alec mutters because it’s the only thing he can say.</p><p>Magnus leans forwards and kisses him, deep and slow. </p><p>When he pulls away he stays close, pressing his forehead to Alec’s.</p><p>“There is one thing that is simple,” he says, breath fanning against Alec’s lips. </p><p>“What?” Alec asks in a whisper. </p><p>“You’re worth it.” </p><p>Emotion curls in Alec chest. It doesn’t fix anything. They’re still going to end in tragedy.</p><p>But Magnus smiles at him, and Alec wouldn’t be able to give him up if he tried. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have now fully outed myself as a mortal Alec supporter. </p><p>Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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